mandag 2. februar 2009

Now with 80% less suck

Alright, so I'm sitting here, sober (first wrong step). Trying to find a way to pass my time, as usual I end up browsing random crack rock steady and general folk punk bands. All of a sudden I end up finding a band called Desertpunk with a myspace DP saying "smoke crack, hail satan" naturally, I am amazed to find such a band from norway and I enter their profile. That was the second step in the wrong direction.
I am clicking myself into their webpage and I find myself to be overwhelmed by flashy 3d animations and burning skulls like it's 1996. I think: goddamnit these guys use such cheesy graphics they gotta be sarcastic and click it... I click the fucking play button without thinking about the consequences. So all without any warning I am kicked in the head by the hard brutal truth about norwegian bands with cheesy graphics...

Soulless is the only word that can describe the sounds that are scratching my ears until they start bleeding out of pure abuse: Soullessness. It is like five seconds of pure, lyrical and musical rape. It's not that it's too fast or too hard or anything like that, it's not like the lyrics are too cheezy or anything like that... It's just so fucking lame. I realize by that second why I don't listen to rock music. It's the fucking dullest shit I ever heard and the lyrics sounds like something I couldn't even have pulled out of my blooddripping mangina. They're really that lame, making references to rocky movies and making the most dull, halfdrunk lovesongs that wouldn't even appear in my most distant nightmares.
Rock music in general suck, I mean, we have like fucking Turbonegro that tries to rebel through songs about destruction and beer and the most cheezy gimmicks, then we have nickleback and all those lame bands that never comes up with anything but the same whining moodless crap. I could mention about a million other bands that I hate but I won't take the time. I can even find this shit crawling up the creek making filthy filthy subgenres. Like this norwegian so called ska-rock band I found... it just sounds like pure monotone, mindless bullshit. If you find punk rock I don't like, it is either because of the ideals in the music, that it's too metally or the main reason: because it sounds too much like these fucking assholes.
I fucking hate rock music. Sure, you can go whining about how "if there wasn't rock music, there would never be ska or punk rock or crack rock steady or anything". Does it look like I fucking care? I hate the Beatles, I hate the rolling stones, I hate the Ramones and I hate every other fucking so called mother of modern rock. All these bands are fucking lame and it doesn't matter how many times you go on about origins, because I really don't care, I'm so glad I didn't have to suffer through the 70's because I'd have to be left with only a few amounts of bands who were not very different in style or musical direction. I'd rather die in the jazz age cause at least they could serve me some proper shit. Real proto dancehall. I know this sounds fucked up but I love the music that gets out today, Mad Conductor, Stupid Stupid Henchmen, Limp Wrist, Eskatol, Defiance, Ohio, Streetlight Manifesto and SMK, all these lovely bands that just takes as much distant from general rock music as possible. I don't even remember that there are such bands out there like U2, The Killers and Radiohead because I don't ever have to listen to it. I don't ever have to forcefeed myself with their bullshit and I can honestly say I've heard four greendays songs for the last five years. Ir might be ignorant, but hell , at least I'm safe for suffering through their corporate bullshit.
Piss out y'all
- V

1 kommentar:

Anonym sa...

But who said that not listening to greenday and shit is ignorance?...